Sleigh Ride
by RoboTitaness
Summary: Rhodey knew he shouldn't have checked his messages. Natasha could deal with Clint and Tony's mischief for a day, couldn't she? Part 19 of 25 Days of Christmas.


**Title:** Sleigh Ride  
 **Author:** Fr0st6yte (RoboTitaness)  
 **Fandom:** Avengers  
 **Characters:** James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Natasha Romanoff, Tony Stark, Clint Barton  
 **Genre:** Friendship, Humor  
 **Summary:** Rhodey knew he shouldn't have checked his messages. Natasha could deal with Clint and Tony's mischief for a day, couldn't she?

* * *

Rhodey felt his phone vibrate and wondered about the safety of checking the new message. Ignoring it would be saner, for sure. It vibrated a second time and he closed his eyes, groaning. Dropping the sandwich he was making, he pulled it out, and looked at the dark screen warily. A third vibrate and the screen lit up. Preparing himself for disaster control, he looked at what his best friend and his bird-brained sidekick were now up to.

Two pictures of the supposedly grown men lying prone in the snow, with a small children's sled next to them were the first things he saw. The third was a text message from Natasha Romanov, telling him to pick up his mess and she'll grab hers. Sighing, he texted back an affirmative before looking at his sandwich sadly. Grabbing his coat, he left his warm floor and went down to the ground floor of the tower.

He found Natasha still there, sitting on a bench by the security desk. Both Tony and Clint were still lying face-down in the snow, which they somehow managed to bring inside. Looking around, Rhodey saw that they had covered the entire lobby, and, Rhodey saw with another groan, they'd covered the stairs in piles of snow too. The tracks etched in made it clear what the two apparently adults were doing.

"Indoor sleigh ride? Really?" he asked Natasha as he neared. The redhead didn't answer, still cleaning one of her guns. "How'd they get all the snow?"

This time she shot him an incredulous look and Rhodey grimaced. "Right. It's them. Dumb question." Natasha only nodded back and Rhodey sighed. "Are you going to take Clint?"

"I'll let him wake up," she replied. "It'll teach him a lesson." Rhodey looked back at his friends and noticed something he hadn't seen before - neither of them had jackets or any real winter wear.

"You took their coats," he said evenly. Natasha didn't look from her cleaning. "Natasha, it's like 10 degrees out here."

"It'll teach them a lesson," she repeated.

Rhodey sighed again and lamented about getting involved with superheroes.

Must have been a lapse in judgement, he decided. Just like partnering with Tony for that engineering project freshman year was.

"Is there anything else I should be prepared for?"

"They've iced the main floor."

Rhodey stared at her. "Iced the main floor?"

"Yes, so unless you've got ice skates, I don't recommend going up there."

"Right," Rhodey said faintly. "Jarvis, I think this is a new record. Write it down, why don't you?"

"Sir and Agent Barton had also ordered two dozen baby birds," the AI replied. This time even Natasha looked up, surprised. "I believe they wanted to set them free into New York."

"Two dozen? That's a lot." Natasha sounded fairly impressed and Rhodey found enough courage to glare at her.

"'A lot'? That's all you say to that? Jarvis, cancel that order." As the AI replied with an affirmative, Rhodey turned to his best friend. "You should have taken their shirts and shoes while you were at it."

"I hate sick people," Natasha waved the statement away. "They whine too much."

"Tony's terrible when he has a cold," Rhodey agreed. "I bet Barton's the same." The two shared commiserating smiles at their partner's antics.

"Terrible drunks," Natasha muttered. "Can't hold their liquor."

"You think they were drunk?" Rhodey shook his head. "This is normal."

"They had to be drunk," Natasha shot back. "Barton's not this bad."

"Alone, Tony isn't either. But together…"

"This is far, even for them."

"You sure about that? A bet then. Babysitting duty for New Years to the loser."

"Хорошо," Natasha agreed. Shaking hands, the two turned back to their friends, waiting for them to wake up.

They didn't have to wait long after that. Clint was up first, groaning and holding his head, looking a far cry from the attentive assassin he was.

"What the hell?" He looked around, seemingly not noticing Rhodey or Natasha. His eyes widened and he shook Tony. "Tony. Tony, man, get up!" With an identical groan, the engineer picked himself up. Both men were shaking.

"What did you do, Legolas?" Tony muttered.

"What did I do? What did you do, Shellhead?"

"My tower!" Tony cried, pulling his arms around himself and looking around, aghast. "How could you do this to my tower, Merida?"

"You did it to the tower, Hal!"

"You think that's a good insult, Katniss?"

"And Legolas is? The guy was a freaking elf! A warrior prince."

"And doesn't that make you sound like a teenage girl," Tony sneered. "God, it's cold."

"You're the whining. I think that makes you the girl."

"Say that again, Susan, and I'll -"

"Gentlemen!" Natasha finally called, and Rhodey watched, admiringly, as both Tony and Clint instantly shut up and stood straight, staring at where their partners were sitting calmly down.

"Welcome back to the land of the living, Sleeping Beauties." Rhodey sent both smirks.

"This is all your fault," Tony hissed to Clint, apparently thinking Rhodey and Natasha couldn't hear him.

"Mine?" Clint snapped back. "It's obviously yours -"

"How drunk were you?" Natasha interrupted them again. Again, both presumed-to-be-grown ups looked back at her, confused. "How much did you drink last night?"

"We didn't," Tony answered, eyebrows still furrowed in confusion. Clint nodded in agreement. At both Rhodey and Natasha's unsatisfied faces, he called, "Jarvis?"

"Both sir and Agent Barton indeed did not consume any alcohol in the last 24 hours, Agent Romanoff."

"So you did all this sober?" Rhodey demanded, gesturing around. Even though he had thought so, he still found it hard to believe. "The snow, the ice?"

Tony and Clint exchanged looks and Rhodey noticed Tony making a small movement with his right hand.

"We know about the birds, Tony. We've already canceled the order." Identical sheepish looks came upon the two children-somehow-considered-adults' faces before a wary look settled in Clint's eyes. Rhodey watched warily as he nudged Tony and the two had a silent conversation with a lot of eyebrow waggling.

Natasha, beside him, scowled at the movement.

"Barton. Stark. What else did you do?" Both boys-play-acting-as-mature-men traded scared looks but before Natasha or Rhodey could threaten them further, the four heard a loud screech travel down the stairs.

Tony looked impressed. "Thor has some volume." Clint glared at him, and Tony seemed to realize what was happening as feet thudded down. They shared terrified looks and dove for the elevator, Tony yelling, "Jarvis, basement workshop NOW!" Both Natasha and Rhodey were forgotten as the duo ran from the Norse God.

As they waited for Thor to get down, Rhodey turned to Natasha and smirked at her scowl. "Have fun on New Year's."

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 **Cross posted on AO3 (Fr0st6yte)**

 **Find me on Tumblr: fr0st6yte**


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